What changes do you seek?

One of the chief reasons we struggle with change is that we often don’t know the best approach to take. With so much information available on the Internet and in the media, it can be overwhelming. To make it even harder, many of us have a history of failure and understandably lack trust that another attempt will yield better results.

The truth is that no two people evolve in the same way. Most change is full of twists and turns and everyone needs to figure out the pathway that works best for them. A perfectly planned course is not possible or even necessary. What is required is a strong desire for change and a willingness to risk a few disappointments along the way. Give yourself credit when you fail at something. At least you tried something new and you probably learned a few tips that will help you in the future. If you broaden your definition of success to include your efforts and increased wisdom, you have more control and will likely feel a lot happier.

In thinking about the changes you seek, consider what you really want. As we all know, one of the first steps towards getting somewhere is to know the direction in which you are heading. Having a specific target is helpful as long as you remain open to other options that present themselves. Set aside some time, and ask yourself:

• What do I most want to be different in my life a year from now?
• What is keeping me from achieving it? (Make a list of 20 possible reasons)
• Which of these obstacles feels most important to address?
• Am I willing to devote some time and attention to it?
• What is a first step that feels easy and do-able?

Yes – we can change our lives! We are not powerless or broken – perhaps just a little skeptical! Know that you can come up with many actions that will lead you to the changes you want. It is said that if you are having a hard time getting started, the very first step you planned is just too big. Think easy and do-able, especially at first. Choose to spend time around others who share this belief and create a mindset that will keep you on track. So often we give up right before reaching our goals because we fall into the all or nothing, or always or never way of thinking. Catch yourself when you go there and remember that your failings are an indication that you are doing something!

As you get underway, think of yourself as you actually are – fully capable of change. Remember that new habits can be established in as little as 30 days, that new neuropathways form in our brains to support our efforts and that each step gets us closer to our destination. Think yes; think courage vs. fear; and think of always moving towards what feels right for you.